From: Jack Thompson
To: Bob Servant
Subject: URGENT DETAILS PLEASE
Hello Bob,
The gold lions are all male and i have arranged for them. But Bob
can’t you see you are dragging us backwards i have been asking you
for your details for the past days now. Pls reply with the following:
Full Name
Home Address
Phone/Fax Number
Banking Details
I will be expecting the above information.
Thanks.
Jack
From: Bob Servant
To: Jack Thompson
Subject: OK
Jack my friend,
OK, things are now progressing. My full name is, as you know, Bob
Godzilla Servant
68 Harbour View Road,
Broughty Ferry,
Dundee
1
It’s a lovely spot Broughty Ferry, and I stay down near the river.
There’s not much traffic which is obviously perfect, as otherwise
the lions would get rattled. Can you please send me a photo of the
lions without delay? I need to see that you definitely have access to
them, before I confirm things with that halfwit Frank.
Your friend,
Bob
From: Jack Thompson
To: Bob Servant
Subject: Details
Hello Bob,
Hope fine. The informations you gave me not complete, you only
gave me your full name and your address. I will need-Country
State
City
Zip Code
Phone Number
1 Bob does indeed live near the River Tay, and in some style, but this address
does not exist. Just in case anyone was thinking of visiting.
Bank Account
Pls give me the above information then we can proceed. As for the
lions I have to take some photographs of them before I scan and
send to you, so you have to give me some time. Pls provide me with
the remaining information Bob.
Thanks,
Jack
From: Bob Servant
To: Jack Thompson
Subject: Here you go champ
Jack my friend,
What a wonderful morning, hope it’s a belter over there in Togo also.
Zip Code –
City – Dundee
Country – Scotland
I’ll get the information from the bank later on. The Bank of Scotland
in Broughty Ferry closes early on a Wednesday so the staff can go
tenpin bowling
2
. Please get the photos of the lions to me as soon as
you can, then we can move on. I cannot wait to see those
magnificent creatures. Are they currently in captivity, or will you
actually be capturing them yourself? By Christ Jack, I wish I were
on that hunt with you my friend. Helping you. And holding you.
Yours Faithfully,
Bob G Servant
From: Jack Thompson
To: Bob Servant
Subject: Pictures of the raw lions
Hello Bob,
You didn’t include phone number or bank account. I have made
arrangement in transporting the 4 gold lions to you. I have put
photos below. One costs $299,000 so 4 will cost over $1,196,000
then the rest will be in cash. These gold lions will be bought from a
2 The Bank of Scotland in Broughty Ferry does not close early on a
Wednesday so the staff can go tenpin bowling.
friend of mine’s company. So give me your phone number for better
communication and bank information,
Thanks,
Jack
From: Bob Servant
To: Jack Thompson
Subject: You have got to be kidding?
Jack,
Sorry about the delay, I was out getting my hair done. There
appears to have been a slight misunderstanding my friend, I was
expecting four live lions, not gold ones. If I stuck four lion statues in
Frank’s zoo then he would think I’d lost the fucking plot and would
tell everyone that I’d gone mental again like when I first got the
cheeseburger van money through and wore that dinosaur poncho
for four months. The four photos you sent look great, if a little
similar, but I’m afraid that you seem to have got the wrong end of
the stick.
Bob
From: Jack Thompson
To: Bob Servant
Subject: URGENT
Hello Bob,
Hope fine. Sorry i misunderstood you, 4 live lions will be much
easier for me.
Look Bob, I went to that security company yesterday i was told
to get $4000 to process the document for retrieval of the boxes
that contains the money. I have raised $2000 so i need you to assist
me in the rest of the money. Immediately you send the remaining
$2000 I will go to the security company so they can release the
funds and I will purchase the lions immediately. I will pay you back
the money with percentages.
This is urgent, reply immediately.
Jack
From: Bob Servant
To: Jack Thompson
Subject: No Problem
Jack,
OK, can you send me the photos of the live lions? Where are you
getting them? I will speak to the bank tomorrow, but $2,000 sounds
fine, how much is that in pounds? The exchange rates in the Dundee
Evening Telegraph are bollocks, they’re done by the same guy that
does the horoscopes
3
.
Bob
From: Jack Thompson
To: Bob Servant
Subject: HURRY BOB
Hello Bob,
Bob $2000 is £1700. Pls try to send it so I can collect the fund from
the security company and as well send the lions to you. These is the
lion’s picture below. I have made arrangement of transporting it to
you. I am buying four male lions from my friends private zoo and he
has also arranged for shipment to Scotland.
3 This is entirely untrue. Dundee’s Evening Telegraph newspaper carries a
precise reflection of the day’s exchange rates.
I will prefer you send the money through Western Union transfer,
so I can collect the fund and start shipping the lions.
Thanks,
Jack
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